A Case of Knowing God

In my last post I wrote that I wanted to consider what it means to know God through reading the Bible. Very soon after that God gave me another sickness-related opportunity to experience this for myself (sorry for so many illness stories, it's just that this has been my life experience and my place of learning recently!).

I was very sick and wasn't able to lie down or sleep at night. All I could do was wait for the morning to come, and watch Aaron sleeping. It was very dark and quiet. I had a battle with myself over whether I should get up and read the Bible or not. I didn't want to, but seven hours sitting in the dark passes painfully slowly. So I dragged myself downstairs and sat at the kitchen table with a cup of peppermint tea. I started reading at the book of Ephesians and continued through the New Testament letters. It was a constant struggle to focus my mind on the words in front of me while my stomach was churning. But eventually I reached a passage in Colossians that I couldn't possibly scan read. This section in my Bible is entitled 'The Preeminence of Christ':

"He is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn of all creation.

For by him all things were created, in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or rulers or authorities - all things were created through him and for him.

And he is before all things, and in him all things hold together.

And he is the head of the body, the church.

He is the beginning, the firstborn from the dead, that in everything he might be preeminent.

For in him all the fullness of God was pleased to dwell, and through him to reconcile to himself all things, whether on earth or in heaven, making peace by the blood of his cross." (Colossians 1:15-20 ESV)

What a God we have! I read that passage over and over until daylight, letting it sink in, and reflecting on the character of Jesus. I didn't do this because I'm super holy and always turning to the Bible. I did it because I was desperate to know God in my circumstances, which were leading me to despair. And honestly, by morning I felt like I knew Jesus a bit better than before and this gave me great joy. I don't think I could explain exactly how this happened, but I do believe that the Holy Spirit is with us when we read the Bible, and He reveals truth to us. Jesus said to his disciples...

"When the Spirit of truth comes, he will guide you into all the truth, for he will not speak on his own authority, but whatever he hears he will speak and he will declare to you the things that are to come." (John 16:13 ESV)

Although this passage applies specifically to those first disciples who would go on to write bits of the Bible and start the church, it also applies to us in our relationship with God today.

The Holy Spirit helps us to see Jesus more clearly when we search for Him. How wonderful! This is vital because I think as girls we get to know people best by sitting close together, making lots of eye contact, and talking about how we feel about things. As far as I can figure out, sitting at a little table in Starbucks for several hours and talking about life is our perfect way of feeling like we know someone. I will explain why I'm making this observation!

So then we pick up the Bible or try to pray and there is no one nodding and smiling opposite us, and it can feel very difficult to know God, or even know that He is there. We all know what it's liek to be reading the Bible and it just isn't going in, if anything it's making us feel alienated from God because it doesn't make much sense or we don't really care about all those tribes (we might even dare to admit that we don't really care about Jesus' life sometimes). But we have the Spirit to help us. We don't have to settle for acquiring knowledge about God that does nothing to change us or satisfy our longing for relationship. Jesus prayed:

"And this is eternal life, that they know you the only true God, and Jesus Christ whom you have sent." (John 17:3 ESV)

We do not settle for 'head knowledge'. Eternal life is knowing God intimately, personally, and by being quiet and listening, by asking for His help, we can believe what the Bible says (John 16:13), the Spirit will deepen our understanding and draw us to Jesus. Our hearts will be moulded and changed, and we will experience close fellowship with Jesus. (nb: 'fellowship' sounds like very old-fashioned Christian jargon, but it is actually a very special word. The Greek word koinonea means "the close association between persons, emphasizing what is common between them; by extension: by participation, sharing, contribution, gift, in close relationship" (from the Strongest NIV Exhaustive Concordance, Zondervan, 1999). This is profound because we experience fellowship with other Christians, but also with Jesus Himself (1 Corinthians 1:6 "God is faithful, by whom you were called into the fellowship of his Son, Jesus Christ our Lord"). A.W. Tozer wrote:

"The fellowship of God is delightful beyond all telling. He communes with His redeemed ones in an easy, uninhibited fellowship that is restful and healing to the soul." (from The Root of Righteousness, Survivor, 2003)

How many of us go on day by day without experiencing this? We settle for skim-reading a psalm and miss out on truly knowing God. I believe that we can experience Him even closer than a dear friend sitting across the table from us at Starbucks.