Being part of the church changes everything. I know that sounds strange, but it really does. The Bible says about the early church: "All the believers were together and had everything in common. They sold property and possessions to give to anyone who had need." (Acts 2:44-5) Our churches don't work exactly like that, but our experience has been that the church has met our needs (along with gifts from our families). So far Isabelle has cost us about £35 in nappies and formula milk, and we bought two changing mats at a car boot sale for £1 each! Other than that our baby has cost us nothing. This is because of a long list of kind church people - my dear friends Lisa & Chantel threw me a baby shower and showered me with gifts (in true American fashion!), several couples we love clubbed together and bought us a baby gym, my friend Bethan gave me a bag of baby socks and tights, Leslie gave us a bag of toys, Phil & Jayne gave us nappies and money, several wonderful friends gave us £100 cash out of the blue, lots of ladies from church dropped off outfits for Isabelle, and the list could go on. The most recent example has been that a lady called Jo in our church in Aberdeen had one conversation with me, and two days later was on our doorstep with a whole car full of baby things including a highchair, pushchair, and safety gates.
Aren't you blown away by that? I'm absolutely amazed at God's provision and the generosity of our church family. But let me also say that this is not about taking advantage of people or using the church to get things. The church is a family so you throw yourself in, serve diligently, and give all that you can. Out of that our needs have been joyfully met, and gifts gratefully received. What a testimony to the world about how different Christian community is! Most people save up to have a baby, but we have trusted God and His church to provide.
This beautiful sharing of resources can be prevented from happening if we are too proud to receive help. Sometimes I found it hard to accept yet another handout from someone at church, I felt like I was always saying thank you! It was wonderful, but it certainly humbled me to graciously receive from others. We have a big problem with feeling like a charity case, we want to do things for ourselves, but that is why people spend £2,000 before their baby is even born and probably get into debt in the process. When you are part of a church family you can humble yourself, get over the obsession with buying everything new, and enjoy the experience of being provided for. After all, a bit later in life we will be able to do the same for other young couples.
So, some practical tips...
- Don't turn anything down! When people bring you bags of things there will often be useful things that you hadn't thought of before, and anything you don't need can just be taken to a charity shop or passed on to another mum.
- Don't be weird about second-hand items (apart from on certain items that are best new, like a pram and car seat if you can afford it). Carboot sales are where everyone gets rid of their baby stuff, and you can get most things very cheaply.
- Check out nearly new sales, which happen around the UK for baby items.
- Try being creative and making a few things (like nursery curtains and cot sheets).
- Lots of people will ask if you need things so be honest about what you need, rather than saying that you are fine.
- Take advantage of all the vouchers given out by Bounty in pregnancy, and join baby clubs like Boots Parenting Club.
- Do your research online, look at reviews, so that you don't waste money on things that are not great and necessary.
Having a baby is about the joy of raising a little person and teaching them to love God and other people, not about what you buy. We have an almost obsesive anxiety about our babies having everything, as if that makes us good parents. My encouragement to young married couples is to seek godly wisdom and then just go for it! We shouldn't be waiting around because we need to save up to have a baby! I hope our example is an encouragement, and gives you confidence that having a baby when you are part of God's family doesn't have to be on hold for financial reasons.
Love always,x
