Just a little bit of 'me time'...

There are times when I find myself craving the kind of freedom I had before being a mum. I used to be able to have a leisurely bath, I used to be able to paint my nails and style my hair, I used to be able to just walk out of the house whenever I wanted without being loaded down with baby stuff. I even used to be able to go to the toilet in peace, without worrying that my child might do some damage bouncing up and down in her door bouncer (like a coat hanger, with springs and a baby attached!). These fleeting thoughts of wanting to get away from my responsibilities are occasional, and far outweighed by the joy and satisfaction Isabelle brings, but it is worth realising that God has a lot of work to do on me yet!

I was encouraged to read a chapter called 'Me time' in the fantastic book Loving the Little Years by Rachel Jankovic. This is obviously something mums find particularly challenging, mainly because they don't get much 'me time'. What Rachel shared was really helpful, because she didn't say the usual thing that people/adverts say to mums - treat yourselves, escape with this new spa product, lock the door and have a long soak in the bath. It is great to get some time to relax, I love to do that, but I think it is a problem that we are trained to do this in our culture. Not only to have plenty of 'me time', but to expect it and claim it as our right. This becomes a major issue when you have children and you can't do it anymore, so unless we think more biblically about ourselves (single, married, and with babies), we will find motherhood completely dissatisfying and will constantly be striving to get away.

I am challenged to discover that there is no such thing as this sense of self to be found in the Bible. No one seems interested in self-discovery or self-indulgence, yet these are things we obsess over. Paul in his letters isn't like 'we preach the gospel, we are suffering constant persecution, and we consider everything else rubbish because knowing Jesus is so precious. Oh, and I took a bit of time out to browse in the Apple store, got a new t-shirt from Hollister, and booked a last minute weekend away. I just need some 'me time', you know.' I don't mean to be extreme, I'm just making a point to myself as much as anything else, because I need to be reminded that 'me time' is pretty much a cultural concept not a biblical one.

Wherever I look in the Bible the concept of self seems very different to what I see around me. This seems to fit very well with what Paul writes in Romans 12:1-2, "I appeal to you therefore, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect." So, we are to consider ourselves as a living sacrifice. How often do we do that? Or do we think, 'How can I pamper myself?', 'Where am I going to go shopping next weekend?','Why don't I buy a DVD and have a night in enjoying my own company?' I think we are being conformed to this world more than we should be, and often so subtly that we don't even realise. Instead we need to treat our lives and our bodies sacrifically (does anyone in our culture even know what that would look like?), and make a decisive effort to change our thinking from the way the world thinks to the way God thinks (we do this by not just reading the Bible, but absorbing it into our lives).

So, that little bit of 'me time' I was hoping for might have to wait. Not least because I should be leaning on God to help me do the hard work of raising a child, rather than dreaming about my next escape. Are you indulgent with your self and your time? How much 'me time' do you have? Could you give some up to serve others instead? If you are a mum, are you trusting God or, like me sometimes, just clinging on until your next time of self-indulgence? What would change in your life if you truly considered yourself a living sacrifice? Love as always,x

p.s There is a major distinction between 'me time' and time alone with God. The gospels say that Jesus often went away alone to spend time with His Father. This gives us liberty to strive for quality time with our Father, to practice setting aside regular time with God, but not to take Jesus' example and make it fit our desire for 'me time'. The two things are very different. But please don't feel that I'm saying your time alone with God is indulgent. We should really be doing more of that, and less of our shopping, pampering, trashy tv time.