The Femininity Tree

I took this photo of the cherry tree at my parents' house in Norfolk. The day the cherry tree blossoms is an annual event for me

(because I'm a bit obsessed with blossom!)

and I always try to be at home to see it.I imagine femininity like a beautiful tree covered with blossom. It is strong, and has roots that go down deep, but it also produces these lovely flowers.

There are so many different types of tree, and in a similar way femininity will look different for different women. What a relief that God doesn't want us to all dress the same, talk the same, or think the same! He doesn't want uniformity, femininity is diverse.

This is because femininity operates at a deep level, like the roots of the tree. Despite what our culture says, femininity has very little to do with the way we look. It has a lot to do with character though. In some ways this is a very freeing realisation, to grasp that femininity won't come from wearing fashionable clothes or having perfect hair. But it also gives us responsibility for our character. Character is much more difficult to change than your hair colour. It is time-consuming, painful, humbling, but God is with us. God is working on us, to see us transformed into the likeness of Jesus. So we are not alone.

"And we, who with unveiled faces all reflect
the Lord's glory, are being transformed into his likeness with ever increasing
glory, which comes from God, who is the Spirit". 2 Corinthians 3:18
(NIV)

The Bible says that we shouldn't waste our time on looking great, while not even bothering with the condition of our hearts (not biological hearts, I mean 'heart' in the sense of 'soul, emotions, conscience'). There is a great secret for femininity to be found in one of the

New Testament letters called 1 Peter:

"Do not let your adorning be external - the
braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewellry, or the clothing you wear -
but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable
beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very
precious". 1 Peter 3: 3-4 (ESV)

How exciting that in the Bible there is this passage just for women about how to be beautiful to God! What God finds beautiful is a gentle spirit. Have you ever thought about what that looks like, or how to cultivate it in your own heart? This is very important for the meaning of femininity.

So, our first point was that the roots of femininity are in the heart, and in the transformation that God is doing in us. Next are the flowers of femininity, which are the evidences that God is working in us at a deep level.

When I was a teenager, before I decided to follow Jesus, I used to look at a bit of the Bible quite often:

"The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace,
patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control;"
Galatians 5: 22-3 (ESV)

I imagined a girl who was like that and it seemed like the most beautiful thing in the world to me. Even though I was obsessed with my appearance at the time, I knew that in this sentence in the Bible I had found true beauty. But I had no idea how I could ever be like that. This is the blossom on the tree of femininity. When our roots are in relationship with God, things like joy and gentleness will start to blossom in our lives without us trying to make it happen or bringing about change in our own strength.

There are a couple of other things I wanted to quickly mention about femininity.

1. Godly femininity is truly freeing for us as women. But it isn't freedom as the world sees freedom. Freedom according to our culture is the liberty to do whatever you want, whenever you want. That's easy freedom, there's nothing clever about it. People think they are free when they have no one telling them what to do, no commitments, no responsibilities. That isn't what I'm talking about. Femininity brings freedom because through perseverence, and giving up our selfish habits, and obeying God, we find that our lives are fruitful.

2. Femininity values men and women equally, affirming that we all have dignity and worth in God's eyes. This does not mean that men and women are always equally good at doing the same things, God designed us as equal but different in some ways. Part of godly femininity, and the development of character that is precious to God, is being an advocate of godly masculinity. By this I mean that in different relationships and different stages of life femininity involves encouraging and submitting (we will come back to this word in more detail at another time)to the men who are in positions of leadership in our lives. For example, this could be your husband, or your church leader. Femininity delights in the guidance of godly men, and delights in the expression of mature masculinity.

Thanks for reading this. Until next time,x